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He came to save not to destroy

He can DESTROY it would not be a problem to HIM

let PEACE reign in your hearts

I need someone who will just let me sit with them and cry, and the only thing they'll do is listen. Some of you on here are helping more than you know, but it's not the same as having someone next to you hugging and rocking you while you cry. I need this. I need Mrs. Melinda. I know she would let me just sit and cry. Actually, she would probably cry with me. But, she doesn't know my story. I don't want to burden her with it.

I guess everything is changing, and I dunno what I think about any of this. I feel betrayed by friends, and a lot of things are frustrated me. I guess becoming close with new people, cause the old ones to start drifting.. I can't really write much on here, I feel like I can't even trust a personal website, where you're suppose to write everything. I feel like not many people can be trusted anymore, and let alone something like this. It is so annoying how shitty and low people will go, just for someone else. I guess this isn't even entirely about me, well actually very little of it is. I see one of my new really close friends, constantly being betrayed by a lot of people, and I relized how shitty people are now of days. How they will do anything, just to make them feel superior, when really it makes you shittier then the person before you. So many people are like this now, so many people suck at being a good friends, and good friends seem really impossible to find. I am so glad, that I now keep my guard up a lot more then I use to. I don't know what I would do, if every day passed and I had to worry about someone betraying me. It doesn't seem to matter how close you are anymore, because everyone seems to just love to do it, and its happened more then it should have to me in the past.

Well things with Ryley and I have improved again. I think...Im not so worried, because I have a feeling that most of the issues came from stress from school. So not only did our small issues seem huge because of the stress I was already feeling...but they got blown WAY more out of proportion. Anyways...Im glad to be with him. He is really sensitive to my needs and feelings. Its great to have a guy who will try to make me happy any way he can. If I am unhappy he try's to help any way, and if its because of him he tries to fix the problems. Its not like 100% but no relatioship is, and I am greatful to have such a good man in my life. Anyways....That is about all I have to say. Have a wonderful evening!!

Wow, my life seems to be as bad as a soap opera these days. I don't know what to do about it anymore. Everything is so turned upside down these days and messed up. I feel like a single mother, which is SO NOT easy to do! I admire my mom more and more.

I wish I had some sort of futuristic camera that I could watch and see what would happen with my life depending on which choice I made. I've never been in this position and it is so incredibly hard. What do I do? It would be even better if God would just whisper the answer in my ear and I would know everything would be fine! I would know the right way to go.

My brain tells me to go. That things won't change in the long run. That it'll get better temperarily and then it will all go back to the same stuff. Which, I believe. My brain is right. It is!

But my heart can't let it go. It just can't. It breaks everytime I think about stepping out the door. But it's so wrong! My heart is wrong! And I find that to be harder than anything. Knowing what I should do but not having the courage to do it. What do you do in a situation like this? Where would I go? With my mom? I can't stand living in that house. But my name is at my place. What about all the stuff we have? What happens to me? I'm out alone, with nothing, and Alyssa? That doesn't seem right. Not even a car to get back and forth to work! LOVELY!

I really need some advice. This is such a vague journal entry. But maybe someone can give me some insite on what I have down.

Ooohhh this is so hard!

Took tre tre and garcus to the circus. Tre tre acted up, so never again. marcus loved it. I missed part of the tiger show takin tre tre to the bathroom.

Today Blaire texted me "one down, one more to go" He got to the house and ,arcus accompanied us to the monster truck. It was cool but nothin I'd go see again. The circus was way better! We tried to embarrass Blair but he ran off and I was yelling " He stole my purse" lol It was fun. I freaking left my digital memory card at home. I was so pissed. I loved being in public with Blair. This is when the ledge joke was born. He took a bathroom break and came back with a picture of himself. Talk about conceited.

Today Blair called me to meet up with him at cloverleaf. My sister and i quickly got dressed to go take a look at these so call sales with marcus. Blair, his lil girl and I ended up taking pictures and we really look cute together. Gosh I pray we truly work out.

Today blair and I talked about commiting to one another. So it's truely official. He is my man! holla